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Brace yourself for miracles

frahk:

nothing is worse than disliking someone who everyone likes

fatamy-rebelwilson:

“Fat Amy, What are you doing?”
“I’m horizontal running.”

fatamy-rebelwilson:

“Fat Amy, What are you doing?”

“I’m horizontal running.”

Relate. So. Hard.

Never

morningchai:

Never be afraid to ask questions, but never ask a woman how she fucks other women. Especially if you’re a heterosexual cisman trying to “convince” her that your pathetic excuse for genitals are “more desirable” or “better” for her.

I’m gonna break this shit down for you:

You don’t know me.
You don’t own me.
You don’t have any right to ask.
You don’t have a right to by body,
Nor my sexuality,
Nor do you have the right to tell me what’s “right” for my body.

You don’t.
You don’t fucking know me.
You don’t know what I’ve been through.
You don’t have to walk the streets at night armed to the teeth with mace and pepper sprays and stun guns.

You never have to walk streets and fear or dread walking alone or night, and you never have to worry about constantly looking out for sick fucks that think owning a penis gives them instant access to bodies, and especially women’s and womyn’s bodies.

You don’t realize society teaches “don’t get raped” instead of “don’t rape.”
In fact you really don’t care as long as every girl knows you’re not “that kinda guy.”

You wanna fucking know something?
You don’t get cookies for barely qualifying for “decent human being” status.

You don’t fucking know women.

So keep your patriarchal, misogynistic, “don’t ‘friend-zone’ the nice guy” rhetoric and action away from my body and our bodies, you fuck.

Fuck you.
Fuck your “but you’re not a lesbian or queer or gay or whatever if you flirt with/ make out with guys or show guys attention” mentality.
Fuck your “penis trumps strap-on” mentality.
Fuck your “penis trumps anything” mentality.
Fuck your penis.
Fuck your fucking thinking.
And fuck you.

You don’t don’t fucking understand anything but how to play your part as a cog in the patriarchal machine.

You don’t know men (because, maybe, there are some actually decent guys out there. Pretty fucking hard to tell though.)

The point remains:
You don’t know women.
You don’t know our bodies, our inner workings, our feelings, our triumphs, our tribulations.

You don’t know transwomen, ciswomen, queers, genderqueers, dykes or lesbians.

You don’t fucking know us.

And you damn sure don’t know me.

when life gives you lemons you put them shits in a tube sock and start swingin at every bro within reach

davehugs:

pros to being a jellyfish

  • ur cute n beautiful
  • you never have to go to college
  • ur parents dont judge u
  • ur allowed 2 be sassy dont get near my tentacles silly boys ill kill you
  • whats a gender
  • u just look amazing and float around all day wooooo

cons to being a jellyfish

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